


A Series of Incredible Events 2

by RockSunner



Series: A Series of Incredible Events AU [2]
Category: Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, The Incredibles (2004)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M, Humor, Peril, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-27 02:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9945665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSunner/pseuds/RockSunner
Summary: This is a sequel to "A Series of Incredible Events", in which the super-powered but unfortunate Parr children find themselves in one sad situation after another, all the while being pursued by the evil and persistent Count Buddy. All major characters belong to Daniel Handler and Pixar, not me.





	1. Book the 4th, The Miser's Mill

A writer I much admire wrote many novels that could be fairly be described as "dickensian," a word which here means "woeful and wordy tales about children in heart-rending circumstances who suffer from hard-hearted treatment by the heartless world, novels the like of 'Oliver Twist' and 'Nicholas Nickelby'." Since the writer in question wrote both those novels and was in fact named Dickens, it is no wonder that such writing was called dickensian. This tale is also dickensian, and I would advise you to swiftly seek more cheerful reading material.

The children in this particular set of heart-rending circumstances were the three Parr children: Violet, a melancholy girl who could turn invisible and cast purple-tinted force fields; Dash, her high-spirited brother, who could run at super-speed; and Jack-Jack, still a baby, who could morph into anything he touched.

The three Parrs found Rick Poe waiting for them when they finally got their boat to the shore of Lackluster Lake. (Poe was the government agent responsible for them under the Super Relocation Program. After their parents disappeared under mysterious circumstances, Poe had attempted to place them with one guardian after another. Two of the guardians were no longer available - in fact, they were dead. The other one, Count Buddy, was entirely unsuitable because he was Syndrome, a meglomaniacal supervillain who constantly schemed against them. Count Buddy had killed the other two guardians and had recently led the children to believe he had killed their parents as well.)

"Aha, there you are," said Poe when they reached the shore. "I've found a new guardian for you. It's a fine local business in the nearby town of Pittanceville where you can work and earn your keep."

"Ummm, aren't there child labor laws against that sort of thing?" asked Violet.

Poe cleared his throat. "When they passed the Super Relocation Program law, supers lost most of their civil rights. Congress is debating a repeal after the heroic way you three saved the city from the Omnidriod, but until they do you're in a legal limbo."

"You mean, we don't count," said Dash sullenly.

"Let's just say the government can do whatever is most convenient," said Poe.

"Yoop! Gomph!" said Jack-Jack, which meant, "It sounds dickensian to me."

The Parrs were feeling down and hopeless, having just been told by Syndrome that they were orphans, so they let Poe lead them to his car and drive them to Pittanceville.

As they drove, Poe explained, "The man who runs this place knew your father and that's why he agreed to take you on. He was once your father's boss. After a little on-the-job accident, crashing through three walls, he decided the insurance business was too dangerous for him and he went to manage a lumbermill with giant buzzsaws instead."

"How could he crash through three walls in an insurance office?" asked Dash.

"He made the mistake of annoying your father," said Poe.

The children immediately understood. Bob Parr was Mr. Incredible, a super-strong and sometimes hot-tempered ex-superhero.

"What's his name again? I'm sure Father told us, but I forgot," said Violet.

"Huff, or something like that. I don't remember either. Just call him Sir and you'll do fine," said Poe. "By the way, it would be better not to reveal to him that you're supers. It would bring back unhappy memories the government went to a lot of trouble to erase."

"We could do that if we had something to wear besides superhero costumes," said Dash.

"Oh yes," said Poe. "I have some work coveralls for you in the trunk. I'll stop and let you put them on."

After the children had put the coveralls on over their costumes, Poe continued the drive into Pittanceville. They passed a fence with newspapers piled up against it, an odd building shaped like a giant eye and soon they passed through the grimy gates of the Salubrious Stench Lumbermill.

Poe led them to the office of the lumbermill manager, known as "Sir". The children never learned his real name, and they never saw his face because it was still almost completely covered in bandages from his accident. He was a very short man with an impatient, lecturing manner.

"So, you're the new workers," Sir said. "The first thing you should know about working for my company is this: A company is like..."

"An enormous clock," said Violet, repeating the phrase she had heard many times from her father.

"An enorm- Yes, and all the little cogs have to mesh together," said Sir. "The best clocks have cogs that mesh together perfectly, that cooperate by design. You know what I mean by cooperative cogs? That's what you have to be, or out on the street you go. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir," said Violet sadly. There didn't seem to be anywhere else for them.

"My assistant Charles will show you to the barracks," said Sir.

Charles was a smiling, stooping man who seemed very eager to please. "He's a great man, isn't he? When he left Insuricare I just had to come with him, even though it was a cut in salary. I hope you were inspired by his cooperative cogs speech."

As they were walking through the grim courtyard toward the barracks, Dash whispered to Violet, "This place is awful!"

"Gomph!" said Jack-Jack, which meant "Dickensian!"

"I know, said Violet, "But at least we don't have to worry about Count Buddy any more."

It happens that she was entirely wrong about that, as we shall see. Though you don't have to see if you don't wish... you could always read some other story.


	2. Minor

As soon as the Parrs entered the barracks, a familiar voice yelled out to them.

"Wow! You're working here, too? This is totally awesome!" said the little boy who came running up to them.

The three Incredibles recognized him as a neighbor boy who was often seen riding his tricycle on the sidewalks near their house.

"Phil?" said Violet. "What are you doing here?"

"The neighborhood got soooo boring after your house burned up and you moved away," Phil said. "Your Dad used to do awesome things like lift the car above his head when he got mad. Now nothing like that happens anymore. I got bored and ran away. The guy who runs this place lets kids work here if they keep it a secret. Isn't that neat?"

"I guess that's one way to look at it," said Violet glumly.

"I always look at the bright side," said Phil. "That's what Mom always says."

"What's it like working here?" Dash asked.

"Super! We get to work with giant saws, log pinchers, and stamping machines," said Phil.

Several adult workers came forward to greet the newcomers.

"I'm not too crazy about our new manager," said one worker. "He came in a month ago and promised he'd help us cut our cost of living. Now he's paying us with discount coupons."

"Grooge!" said Jack-Jack, which meant, "That's a miserly thing to do."

"That's not the worst thing," said another worker. "Foreman Dubcutondy is a real mean guy. He just started here this morning and we all hate him already."

"Maybe after we get to know him we'll get on his good side," said Phil.

"He doesn't have a good side," said another worker.

"Where is he?" said Violet nervously.

"He's gone home for the night. He'll be back early in the morning to get us started," said the first worker. "Tomorrow's a log day."

All the workers groaned except Phil.

A worker in a cook's apron came out from the back room. "Stew's on!"

"C'mon kids," said the first worker. "Better eat up so you'll have energy for tomorrow. It's tough work for little ones like you."

"We can do it!" Dash boasted.

"Remember we can't be too obvious with our powers, Dash," Violet whispered.

The children devoured their portions of the first solid meal they'd had in quite a while. The stew was lumpy, but it was far better than the cold cucumber soup they had last had for dinner.

Soon after dinner the barracks turned out the lights and everyone went to bed. Exhausted though they were, it wasn't easy for the Parrs to sleep that night. Worry about the job, fear for the future, and anxiety about whether Syndrome had lied in calling them orphans kept them up late. But finally after midnight they all fell asleep.


	3. Machinery

Loud banging noises woke the Parrs at 6:00AM. A man in a curly white wig, wearing a hospital mask that squashed his enormous nose, was standing in the door and banging two metal pots together.

"Get up, you lazy things!" he shouted. "Time to get to work on the logs!"

The other workers groaned, stretched, and covered their ears at the cacophony - which here means "the loud noise of two metal pots being banged together by a man in a curly white wig and a hospital mask."

"Hi, Foreman Dubcutondy," said Phil tiredly but cheerfully. "I'd like to introduce our three newest workers: Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack Parr."

"More midgets!" snarled Dubcutondy. "How can I get the work done if they keep sending me midgets?"

"We're not midgets," said Violet, "We're..."

Phil nudged her and whispered. "Sir says its better that we pretend to be midgets. That way he won't get in trouble with the law."

"Ok, all of you," said Dubcutondy. "March to the mill and get to work! Logs are waiting!" He started banging the pans again.

"Don't we get breakfast?" Dash shouted over the noise.

"Yop! Gomest!" Jack-Jack agreed.

"You get no more food until lunch, you greedy midget," said Dubcutondy.

Dash grumbled, but he went out the door with the others.

There was a huge pile of trees in the yard. One of the workers went to a log-pincher machine and lowered the top tree in the pile to the ground.

"Get the debarkers!" yelled Dubcutondy. "Scrape that log clean!"

The debarkers were long, thin metal rectangles. The idea was to scrape them against the logs and strip off the bark. When Dash thought no-one was looking, he used super-speed to take off large sections of bark quickly. Violet expanded small force-fields under the bark to make it come off easier. Jack-Jack absorbed the properties of the metal debarkers into his hands to make them stronger and tougher for the work. It was still very tedious, which here means "unbelievably boring."

Nobody noticed but Phil, who whispered to them, "I won't tell. Working with supers is totally awesome!"

After fourteen logs, the foreman called a break. "Here's your gum. You have five minutes for lunch."

"We get to eat gum for lunch! Isn't that great!" said Phil happily.

Dash yelled to the foreman, "Gum isn't enough for lunch!"

Dubcutondy looked at Dash sharply, then opened a second box he had kept to the side. "Ok, you can have this, too."

He tossed Dash a candy bar. The other workers crowded around Dubcutondy hungrily, but he said "Only the first guy that asks gets one! It's a morale booster."

Nobody seemed to have improved morale except for Dash, who wolfed down the whole bar in an instant.

"Dash!" said Violet, "What about sharing?"

"Sa'ree," said Dash with his mouth full.

After lunch, they had only been working a little while when Dash began to complain.

"I can't see! There are spots in my eyes," said Dash.

"Then you'd better go to the eye doctor," said Foreman Dubcutondy quickly. He called Charles to escort Dash there.

The other workers muttered about favoritism.

"He didn't let me have sick time when I cut off my finger yesterday," said one.

"I bet Dash just got on his good side," said Phil.

It was late in the day before Dash returned from the optometrist. He seemed distracted, gazing off into space.

"How did it go, Dash?" Violet asked.

"Fine! Don't bother me!" said Dash in a hostile tone.

"Glleeh!" said Jack-Jack, which meant "I guess it was pretty bad and you don't want to talk about it right now."

Dash stared into space and ignored his brother.

"Get back to work," yelled Dubcutondy. "Do it now, Dash!" There was a strange tone in his voice as he said this to Dash.

Violet looked quickly at Dash to see how he would react to this. Suddenly, she saw Dash disappear for an instant and reappear in the same place. No-one except someone who had grown up with his super-speed would have noticed it.

"Dash must have pulled some kind of prank," she thought. "Maybe the foreman's about to sit on a thumbtack or something."

"Look out!" someone yelled.

A log was sliding loose from the pinchers. It was going to drop right on top of Phil! Violet fired up a small force-field under the log, trying to save Phil without giving herself away. She managed to deflect the log enough that it landed on the boy's left toe instead of on his head. The other end of the log fell onto a machine that tied lumber into bundles, smashing it.

Phil limped over to Violet. "I was lucky you were there," he said. "And I'm lucky I'm right-footed."

"Most people would say 'Ow, my toe'" said Violet.

"That too," said Phil. He sat down suddenly, grabbing his foot. "Ow, my toe!"

A door opened in the main building and Sir came running out.

"What was that crashing sound?" he demanded.

"There was an accident, Sir," said Violet. "Phil's foot is hurt."

"I don't care about that," said Sir crossly. "What about the string machine? It cost an inordinate amount of money. I'm going to find out who's responsible for this. Dubcutondy!"

"Yes, Sir?" said the foreman in a much softer tone than he had used with the workers.

"What just happened here?" said Sir.

"A log just came loose from the pinchers, Sir. Nobody was near the machine when it happened," said Dubcutondy.

"I don't like it," said Sir. "I pay you to keep this place working like a well-oiled clock, and now this happens."

"Sorry, Sir," said Dubcutondy.

"I have closed-circuit cameras watching the yard, and tonight I'll replay the tapes and see what's been going on around here," said Sir. "Meanwhile, stop work for the day. I can't afford any more accidents."

Sir stomped back into the main building. The workers went back to the barracks, happy to have an early break. The three Incredibles were left alone in the yard for a moment.

"Dash, what went wrong?" Violet said to Dash. "Did you do that? I can't believe you'd pull a prank that dangerous."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Dash coldly.

"That high-speed stunt you just did. I saw you move," said Violet.

"I didn't move from this spot," said Dash.

"Gooot!" said Jack-Jack.

"Jack-Jack's right," said Violet. "We're on your side and we don't want you in trouble. We'll help you cover for it. But we need to know what happened."

"I didn't do anything," said Dash. "Stop bothering me!"

He turned and ran into the building.

"We've got to do something," said Violet. "If Sir watches that tape and sees Dash, or if he sees any of the super-powers we used today, we could be in big trouble."

"Dssh!" said Jack-Jack.

"Yes, something has gotten into Dash. We have to find a way to help him," said Violet. "I'm just not sure how..."


	4. Menace

That night, after lights-out in the barracks, Violet sneaked out invisibly. She was holding Jack-Jack, who was also invisible because he was tucked under her costume.

They moved stealthily to the next building and into the room where Sir was sitting. He was arranging pencils on his desk so that they lined up exactly with the lines on his desktop calendar.

"Charles? Is my dinner ready yet?" Sir called.

"Yes, Sir, it's just prepared," said Charles obsequiously, a word which here means "like a cooperative cog."

"While I'm eating, set up the VCR tape from the monitor cameras in the main yard. I'll watch it as soon as I'm done. Then go iron my shirts."

"Yes Sir, it's wonderful being your partner and getting to help you run things this way," said Charles.

"Then get to it," said Sir.

Sir went into the next room to eat. Charles came out, popped a tape into the office VCR, and then rushed off to do the ironing.

Violet and Jack-Jack approached the VCR, still invisible.

"We have to figure out what happened, Jack-Jack," whispered Violet, taking him out from under her costume. She was prepared to shield him again if Sir or Charles came back into the room.

Violet fast-forwarded through the tape until they came to the moment before the accident. Sure enough, they found one blurry frame in which Dash was standing at the controls of the lumber pincher, pushing a button.

"This is bad," said Violet. "Why did he do it? We have to destroy this evidence before Sir sees it."

"Goopo glank," said Jack-Jack, which meant "Leave it to me." He touched the VCR and became a miniature one himself. Violet popped the VCR tape into his mouth and Jack-Jack erased the whole thing with a pulse of electromagnetic energy.

"Maybe we should sabotage the recording monitor, too, so it'll get the blame for the blank tape," Violet suggested. "I'm starting to feel guilty for covering up for Dash so much, though."

"Gonsience," said Jack-Jack, meaning, "Me too, but we've got no choice."

They sneaked into another room where a monitor was showing what was going on in the yard right now. Suddenly, Dash appeared in the doorway of the barracks. He blurred off at high speed and it was hard to tell which way he went.

"Where's he going?" asked Violet.

"Goptomtrist?" said Jack-Jack.

"That's it! Everything happened after he came back from the optometrist. He's probably going back there because someone forced him to. We've got to go help him!" Violet said.

They had heard from the other workers during the afternoon that the optometrist, Doctor Orwell, worked at the building that looked like a giant eye. Violet ran there, but carrying Jack-Jack made it hard to go fast.

The building looked even more spooky by night. An eye-shaped sign by the front door said "Orwell Optometry. Big Sister is Watching You."

Violet went invisible again and they sneaked to the side of the building where there was an open window. Jack-Jack made himself invisible using power he had absorbed from Violet, so Violet held him up to the window and they both peeked in.

In the room was a tall blond woman with a jeweled cane, another large woman they couldn't see well because her back was to them, Foreman Dubcutondy, and Dash. Dash was standing in the center of the room, staring into space.

"What went wrong, Dubcutondy?" asked the woman with her back to them in a strange falsetto voice.

"Somehow the log missed the little brat, boss. But we'll get someone next time. But please stop wearing that creepy disguise. Surely you don't need it anymore."

"I'll decide how long I need it. So keep calling me Shirley," said the boss harshly. Suddenly both children outside realized that this was Count Buddy disguised as a woman.

"We must get him to kill someone to cement my control," said the blond woman. "It will break down his inhibitions and he'll be mine for good."

"Mine, you mean, Dr. Orwell." said Syndrome.

"Yes, yours. All I want is the money you promised," said Dr. Orwell.

"It was a great stroke of luck finding you here when I was tracking down the kids," said Syndrome. "I'm rather glad you weren't killed by the Omnidroid version X1 after all, Psycwave."

"I go by Big Sister now," said Orwell/Psycwave/Big Sister. "I'm through with the hero business. What did those ungrateful normals ever do for me?"

"It's still geeking me out that you escaped," said Syndrome. "I saw you die with my own eyes."

"I made you think you did so you'd shut off your killer machine and I could get away," said Big Sister.

"Very sneaky. Now finish with little Dash here and we'll be even," said Syndrome.

Suddenly, Orwell gave a startled glance at the window. Jack-Jack's costume wasn't like Violet's; he couldn't make it invisible along with himself. Orwell had caught a glimpse of the bright red costume!

"Dash, Big Sister is Watching You. Attack the intruders outside the window and knock them out!" said Big Sister in a voice of command.

Dash came flying at them through the window so fast there was no time to react. Both Jack-Jack and Violet crashed to the ground, unconscious.


	5. Murder

Jack-Jack regained consciousness first. When Dash hit him, he had absorbed a little of Dash's speed, enough to accelerate his recovery. He tried to sit up, but found that he had been bound to something yards and yards of twine. It was dark, and he could here a buzzsaw going. There were also voices arguing.

"I don't see why we can't have him push Violet or Jack-Jack into the saw first!" said Syndrome.

"Family affection might make him resist my control," said Big Sister. "If we start with someone he hardly knows, like Charles here, then I can work him up to killing them."

Jack-Jack morphed himself into twine and slid out from under the bonds to the side of the log away from the three villains standing near the saw: Syndrome, Dubcutondy, and Big Sister. Dash was with them, still mind-controlled.

Now he could see that Violet and Charles were similarly bound to two other logs. He wanted to cut them free, but what could he use? The only sharp thing around was the saw and it looked too dangerous to touch. He had to try it. He began to crawl forward, using the string-morph for camouflage.

"The baby's gotten loose!" Dubcutondy shouted, pointing at the third log.

"Careful! He can morph into anything," said Syndrome, peering around.

"Aha!" said Dr. Orwell, whipping a sword blade out of her cane. "That pile of string wasn't there before. It's Jack-Jack. I'll cut him to bits!"

She brought her fencing sword down on the string, but one touch was enough for Jack-Jack. Instantly he morphed into a metal baby with a sword for one arm.

"Ongard!" yelled Jack-Jack. He began to attack Big Sister. The click of the swords cause Violet to moan and wake up. But she was still bound to the log and couldn't see where to cast a force field.

"Get out of the way and I'll blast him," said Count Buddy to Orwell.

"If I back off, I'll give him the advantage and he could stab me," said Big Sister.

She continued to fence with Jack-Jack. He was too good - he must have absorbed fencing skills from her. Big Sister decided to call in her reserves.

"Dash, You Love Big Sister!" said Orwell in a voice of command. "Attack this metal creature!"

Dash blitzed toward Jack-Jack, but this time the baby was prepared. He braced his metallic form and bounced off Dash's first attack. Dash dropped to the floor, shaking his head.

Now Jack-Jack was fast, too. Between sword strokes at Big Sister, he had enough speed to whip around and cut the strings that bound Violet to the log.

As Dash was racing back for another hit, Foreman Dubcutondy grabbed a board and rushed at Jack-Jack from the other direction. Syndrome hovered up on rocket boots to get a good shot at Jack-Jack.

SHIMMER! Violet cast a force-field around Jack-Jack.

WHAM! Dash and Dubcutondy crashed into the field. Dubcutondy fell over, stunned.

BLAM! Syndrome fired at the shielded Jack-Jack, and the shot deflected from the force field and knocked the end of Charles' log into the saw.

BZZZ! The buzzsaw began to cut into the log, snipping the soles of Charles' shoes.

"Dash, You Must Do as Big Sister Says," commanded Orwell. She was about to give another order when a slash from Jack-Jack's sword distracted her.

Violet thought fast. "Dash, I'm your big sister! She said you have to do what I say! Punch her!"

Dash rushed at Orwell, clobbering her with repeated punches that knocked the wind out of her and prevented any further commands. Big Sister began to back away from him, shielding her face with her hands.

Violet force-shielded around Charles on the log, preventing the saw from getting any further bite. She tried to pull the log away, but it was too heavy for her.

Syndrome knew Violet was concentrating on saving Charles rather than protecting herself, so he took aim at her with one gauntlet. No zero-point energy this time; he intended to kill...

BZZAW! Jack-Jack had managed to absorb power from the saw by touching it with the tip of his sword. Now he had morphed into a flat saw blade and used the spinning energy to launch himself at Syndrome like a lethal Frisbee.

SMASH! Syndrome was knocked through the side of the building by the force of Jack-Jack's attack. Only his tough costume prevented a fatal cut through his chest.

Big Sister, backing away from Dash, tripped on Charles' log and knocked it free of the saw. Unfortunately, she fell the other way, right into the buzzing blade. BZZAAAAGH! Nothing was left of her.

Violet ran to Dash. "Dash, are you all right now?"

Dash nodded. "It felt like I was in a dream. Now I'm back. Maybe when Dr. Orwell died it freed me."

"I'm not so sure she did die," said Violet. "She's created the mental illusion of her death in order to escape once before. Look at the saw blade."

"There's no blood!" said Dash in surprise.

The Incredibles rushed outside to pursue Syndrome, but he was gone. Jack-Jack's move and the apparent death of his mentalist ally had taken the fight out of him for now.

Jack-Jack used his saw-blade-morph and carefully cut Charles loose; then he reverted to baby form.

"Jack-Jack, you were great! You saved us," Violet said.

"Glomph Glomph!" said Jack-Jack triumphantly.

Sir emerged from the office building and walked up to them, "I'm not happy! Not happy at all. Ask me why I'm not happy."

"Why are you not happy?" Violet said. "We saved your partner."

"Supers in my sawmill! I won't work with supers... I had a very bad experience with one once..." Sir suddenly looked frightened. He turned and ran.

"I guess his memories of the fight with Dad came back, just like Mr. Poe was afraid they would," said Dash.

"We'd better call Mr. Poe," said Violet. "I don't think we can work here anymore. Maybe he'll find us something much better this time."

"Goodlcck," said Jack-Jack, which meant, "Or maybe worse."

I'm afraid the latter (which here means Jack-Jack) was closer to being correct.


	6. Book the 5th, The Accursed Academy

Poe came to fetch them. He was grumbling a little, "You're worse than your father was... blowing your cover and losing your job after only one day of work."

"It was self-defense!" Violet protested. "They were trying to take over Dash's mind and kill us."

"In the good old days, heroes fended off death every day without ever losing their secret identities. But never mind, you're just kids. I've found a nice place for you."

"Where? A coal mine?" asked Dash sarcastically.

"Guugh!" said Jack-Jack.

"It's a new private school with on-campus accommodations for charity cases," said Poe.

"We get to go back to school?" said Violet.

"Whew!" said Dash, "I never thought I'd be happy to be going to school, but I am."

"Some of your friends from your old school have transferred there," said Poe.

"Ummm.. was one of them named Rydinger?" asked Violet shyly.

"Yes, I seem to remember that name on the list," said Poe.

Violet gave a happy little sigh, and Dash snickered.

"Dash, you'll be glad to hear that your old teacher has become the new Vice-Principal there. His name's Bernie Nero. They don't have a Principal yet."

Dash stopped snickering and looked upset. Jack-Jack chuckled.

"Nero has it in for me," Dash said.

"Because you put thumbtacks on his chair at super-speed, that's why!" said Violet.

"Well, here we are," said Poe. "Go ahead to the Vice-Principal's office. He's expecting you."

The sign under the grim gates to the cheerless place read "Prudence Preparatory," and the motto below was "Abandon all hope." The children made their way across the deserted grounds and into the biggest building in the center of the campus, the Administration Building.

Nero was in his office. He gave Dash a wild-eyed look.

"Ummm, Mr. Nero," said Dash. "I hope you're not still mad at me."

"I hope you're not still mad at me," Nero repeated back in a sneering voice.

"It's not nice to mock people," said Violet reproachfully.

"It's not nice to mock people," repeated Nero. "Dash openly mocked me in front of my whole class. He put thumbtacks on my stool somehow and smirked when I couldn't prove it. He's guilty, guilty, guilty! But now I've got you where I want you, young hooligans!"

"Where's that?" asked Dash. He might have been mocking back, but Nero didn't catch it.

"Under my discipline, that's where!" said Vice-Principal Nero. "I set the rules, and I set the punishments around here! For example, for coming into my office, you all have to eat your next meal in the cafeteria without silverware!"

"But you wanted us to come into your office," Violet protested.

"That doesn't matter. A rule's a rule. I also play the violin every night to reinforce appreciation of classical music. If you miss my concerts, you have to buy me a bag of candy."

"What about classes?" asked Violet.

"Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass will teach you storytelling and the metric system."

"What about Jack-Jack?" asked Violet. "He's too young for classes."

"He will stay here in my office during the day and help me by making office supplies. I need lots of staples. I never put up notices in the halls with thumbtacks. There will be no thumbtacks in this school! Heee heee heee."

He children stared at him.

"Now, get out of here. If you're late for lunch you have to drink your water without a glass, in a puddle."

"But where are we going to live?" asked Dash.

"Where are we going to live?" mocked Nero. "Hee hee hee. There's an old gardening shed on the grounds I've had fixed up for you. I call it the Orphan's Shack."

The children shuddered at being called orphans. Syndrome had called them that, and he might have made it come true.

"But don't know for sure we're orphans!" Violet said.

"Yaagh!" agreed Jack-Jack.

"You're staying in the Orphan's Shack, so you're orphans. That's final. Now go!"

As they walked out of the building, Dash whispered to Violet, "He's really gone around the bend."

"I think you drove him there," said Violet.

They hurried straight to the cafeteria, where they were served pork and beans without silverware. Violet saw a girl she recognized and went to sit by her.

"You think you're sitting here after what you did to me?" said the girl angrily.

"What do you mean, Kari? What did I do?" asked Violet.

"You left a message on my cell phone that you had a babysitting job for me, so I went over there. You weren't there."

"It was too late for what we wanted to do, so we gave up and went to the beach," Dash said.

"The beach!" Kari snapped. "And while I was looking in the window your whole house went up in a fireball! I could have been killed."

"Kari,..." said Violet. She was trying to apologize, but Kari cut her off.

"Don't Kari me! You're not my friend any more," said Kari. "Call me by my full name - Kari Melita Spats! I've got a new name for you, too. Cakesniffer!"

As Violet and her siblings walked sadly away to a different table, Kari got her clique of friends to chant after them.

"Cakesniffing orphans in the Orphan's Shack! Cakesniffing orphans in the Orphan's Shack!"

"Leave them alone, Kari Melita!" called a boy with red hair. He looked a lot like a boy Violet had a crush on all semester, but it wasn't him. "Come over here, there's room at our table."

The children sat down at the table next to the boy and a girl who looked almost identical to him.

"I'm Duncan Rydinger, and this is my sister Isadora," said the boy.

"Are you related to Quigley Rydinger?" Violet asked hopefully.

"He was our brother," Isadora said sadly. "We're triplets. He died a few days ago when our house caught on fire."

Violet gasped and covered her mouth. "Oh no! Noooh."


	7. Allies

"What... what happened to Quigley?" Violet finally asked.

"Our house burned to the ground a few days ago. Quigley and Father were caught in it, but we escaped," said Isadora. "We don't know about Mother. She disappeared four months ago."

"Our house just burned down too," said Dash. "Both our parents disappeared right before that."

"Graaa," said Jack-Jack sadly, which meant, "I miss them and I hope they aren't dead."

"We forgot to introduce ourselves," said Violet. "I'm Violet Parr and these are my brothers Dash and Jack-Jack."

"Are your parents named Bob and Helen?" asked Duncan. "I think our parents knew each other before we were born. I remember a picture in their album labeled 'Taken at the wedding of Bob and Helen Parr'. It was dated about fifteen years ago."

"You have a good memory," Violet said. "Yes, those are their names."

"I wonder," Isadora said, "Can your parents do... anything special?"

"Grong!" said Jack-Jack.

"Jack-Jack means Dad is very strong," said Dash.

"Very, very, strong, right? Incredibly strong?" said Duncan.

"Why do you ask?" said Violet. She felt that they were prying too far into family secrets.

"Those were the days of supers, and many were close friends," said Duncan. "Our mother was the Vectress. She could fly and shoot tight beams of energy. And your father must be Mr. Incredible."

"Yes!" said Violet. "And Mother is Elastigirl. But they had to go into hiding with the Super Relocation Program, like all the supers did."

"Was your Dad a super, too?" asked Dash.

Isadora said, "No, Dad was a normal. Mother met him when she saved him from a burning building. They fell in love at first sight."

"But now she's disappeared. There was no-one to save him this time. Or to save Quigley," said Duncan.

Violet blinked tears from her eyes as she thought about Quigley again. She'd never even had the nerve to talk to him and now it was too late.

"Do you have powers? We do," said Dash. "I'm fast, Violet does invisibility and force-fields, and Jack-Jack can do just about anything if he has something to copy from."

"Weak powers, since we're half-super," said Isadora. "I can do minor cantrips."

"What's a cantrip?" asked Dash.

"A little bit of magic. I have to say a rhyming couplet to make it work," Isadora said. "I'll show you:"

"Bring to Dash a knife and fork,  
So he can eat his beans and pork," she chanted.

Dash looked down, and saw that a knife and fork had appeared beside his plate.

"Wow!" he said in admiration.

"Geeg!" said Jack-Jack, which means the same thing as "Wow!"

"I didn't create them out of thin air, you know," Isadora said modestly. "The spell teleported them from nearby."

Just then, they heard Kari Melita yell, "Hey! What happened to my silverware?"

They all burst out laughing.

"You'd better wipe those off really well before you use them, Dash," gasped Isadora.

Dash laughed again and said, "You pull better pranks than me."

"It's the only way to keep sane around this place," Isadora said.

Violet asked Duncan, "Do you have powers?"

"I have a photographic memory," Duncan said.

"Is that really a super power? I mean, I've heard a lot of people have that," said Violet.

"I can share them," Duncan said. He touched her arm lightly, and a vivid memory of tossing a football back and forth with Quigley flashed through her mind.

"Ooh," Violet said.

"It comes in handy in this school. They believe in rote memorization and spitting it all back on the tests," said Duncan.

After lunch was over, they went to find the Orphan's Shack.

"Aren't you considered orphans, too?" asked Violet. "Where do you stay?"

"There are also regular dorms," said Isadora. "Vice-Principal Nero was acting pretty weird this morning when he announced you would be coming. He set up this place up especially for you."

"He hates me," said Dash.

They found the tin shack, and it was horrible. It had bales of hay instead of bed, the ceiling dripped with slimy tan fungus, and the place was infested with tiny crawling crabs. The walls were painted a hideous bright green with pink hearts like a tacky valentine.

"He really, really hates me," said Dash.

Violet began using her force-fields to scrape the fungus off the ceiling and throw it to the side of the shack. Dash easily evaded the nippers of the crabs and started kicking them out. The sound of his fast-paced footsteps scared them, but what scared them even more was when Jack-Jack morphed into a giant crab. Isadora joined the fun by cantripping a few of them. Soon the place was almost livable.

"Well, it looks like you have things under control," said Duncan. "We'll see you tonight for dinner and the 'violin concert' that Vice-Principal Nero always gives."

Violet followed the two triplets. She caught up to Duncan, and softly asked, "Would you do me a favor?"

"Sure," Duncan said. "What do you want?"

"Those memories of Quigley... would you give me more of them some time?"

Duncan looked at her for a moment.

"I'd rather give you some memories of me," he murmured gently.

"Duncan, you're nice but it's too soon to think about anything like that. I just found out he's gone. Maybe someday..." Violet said.

"I can wait," Duncan said. "I've already gotten some beautiful memories today."

He turned and walked down the path back to the main courtyard.


	8. Athletics

The two older Parr children found the classes they had to take from Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass at Prudence Preparatory were as boring as they were worthless. Mr. Remora ate bananas constantly and told boring, pointless stories that he expected them to memorize in every detail. Mrs. Bass required them to measure assorted objects using the metric system and to memorize every measurement. Dash couldn't even entertain himself by pulling pranks, because Nero had installed high-speed video cameras and motion detectors around his desk.

Jack-Jack found the work he had to do for Vice-Principal Nero as worthless as it was boring. Nero had a box of pieces of wire and Jack-Jack was expected to bend them into staples. It wasn't hard to bend them using his metallic-form morphing powers, except that he had to do it when Nero wasn't looking.

Each evening, they had to listen to hours of Vice-Principal Nero's tuneless sawing at the violin, which he called his "atonal masterpieces." They were never sure if Nero really thought his music was good or if this was another bizarre way of punishing them, but it was sheer torture whatever his reasons.

One evening, before the concert, Dash came running into the orphans shack with a flyer he found stapled to the announcement board.

"Look at this," he said excitedly to Violet.

"TRACK TEAM TRYOUTS," the flyer read. "Coach Genghis, the renowned athletic trainer, will be holding tryouts for a new track team this evening." Stapled to the flyer was a note from Vice-Principal Nero. "This is at the same time as my violin concert, so if you go you will owe me a bag of candy. Siblings attending this school either go to my concert together, or the track tryouts together, so if the Parrs go they will owe me three bags of candy."

"More crazy rules aimed just at us," Violet complained.

"Gleesh!" agreed Jack-Jack.

"Never mind that," said Dash. "It's track! I've wanted to go out for track for ages!"

"Mom never wanted you to go out for sports because it would give away your powers," said Violet.

"She's not here, and this new school is driving me bonkers with boredom. Please? I'll only win by a little tiny bit," begged Dash.

"Oh, all right," said Violet. "You deserve some fun after all we've been through."

They told the Rydinger Triplets about the event, but Duncan and Isadora declined to go.

"Athletics isn't really my thing," Isadora said.

"We'd like to go and watch," said Duncan, "But we can't afford to buy Nero candy."

"We can't either," said Dash. "He'll have to bill Mr. Poe. Good luck to him trying to get anything from that guy."

The sky was dark when the three Incredibles reached the sports field. A man in a turban was standing beside the track. They couldn't make out his face because of the poor light and because he was holding a megaphone to his face.

"I'm Coach Genghis! All of you proceed to the starting line and put on your training weights!" he said through the megaphone.

"I'm the one trying out," Dash called. "My sister and brother are just here to watch."

"The school requires all of you to try out, or none," said Coach Genghis. "Which will it be?"

"Dash, Jack-Jack and I shouldn't have to try out. I've got a funny feeling about this," said Violet.

"Gooo woow!" said Jack-Jack, meaning, "Me, go out for track? Give me a break!"

"Oh, c'mon," said Dash. "It won't hurt. You'll get eliminated right away."

All three were standing by the starting line. The training weights were metal circlets to clip around their ankles. Violet and Jack-Jack were still hesitating when they felt the weights snap on. Dash had gotten impatient and put them on himself and his siblings at super-speed.

"Ready, Coach Genghis," Dash called.

"So am I," said a familiar gloating voice. Count Genghis lowered his megaphone.

"Syndrome!" said the three Parrs together. Even Jack-Jack had learned to say his dreaded name.

"Got you this time," Count Buddy said. "Those are Superhero Output Restraining Exercisers, or S.O.R.E. for short. I just invented them and they're ready to test; you're the guinea pigs."

Dash tried to run at him. Violet tried to cast a force field. Jack-Jack tried to morph. All failed.

Syndrome chuckled, "Hoo heeek hee! They work! Your powers are blocked. Am I a genius or what?"

He pressed a button, and the exercisers forced their feet to run around the track, or crawl in Jack-Jack's case. Without his powers, even Dash found this difficult.

"I decided just killing you wasn't enough any more," said Syndrome. "After all you put me through you have to suffer first. Now give me 2000 laps: hup-two-three-four! Mwah heee hah haw!"


	9. Alternates

At sunrise the Parrs were panting and exhausted from a night of forced running and crawling.

"Sorry... (gasp) ...Vi... (gasp) ...should've... (gasp) ...listened ... (gasp) ...to you," said Dash. "Never... (gasp) ... thought I'd ... (gasp) ... hate running."

Abruptly, the bands on their ankles allowed them to stop. They wanted to flop to the ground but instead they looked warily at Count Buddy, wondering what he would do next.

"Oooh, that was so much fun," Syndrome said with an evil chuckle. "Too much fun not to do it again. I'd love to keep you running in the hot noonday sun, but too many people might see and ask awkward questions. We'll start again tonight, same bat-time, same bat-channel."

"What.. (pant) makes you think... (pant) ...we'll come back?" Violet asked.

"You will, because of the little red button on this remote control," said Syndrome. "There are explosives in your S.O.R.E. devices. If you don't show up, you blow up. If you try to take them off, you blow up. They have audio sensors too. If you try to tell anyone about them, you blow up."

"How'd you know... I wanted to go out for track... so much?" said Dash, who had recovered a little of his breath.

"Psycwave picked up a few hot tips for me when she controlled your mind," said Buddy. "TTFN time - ta-ta for now. See you tonight!"

He fired up his jet boots and flew away. The children walked stiffly back to the school. Syndrome had them so much in his power that he could afford to toy with them. It was demoralizing, a word which here means dispiriting, a word which hear means disheartening, a word which here means discouraging, and so on.

Sore and exhausted as they were, they still had to attend classes and work as usual. Doing anything out of the ordinary might be taken as an attempt to communicate and put their friends in danger.

"... I went to the grocery store. Bananas were on sale. The End," droned Mr. Remora.

Kari Melita put up her hand, "Mr. Remora, Violet is falling asleep in class."

"No," said Violet quickly. "I was just resting my eyes."

Every day after class Duncan had been meeting with Violet and Dash to transfer to them his photographic memories of the trivia they would be expected to know for the next test. Today they tried to avoid him.

"Hey, wait up Violet," said Duncan. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Violet said. "Leave us alone."

But she touched his arm in desperation as she passed by him, and the memories at the front of her mind flooded into him - the memories of Count Buddy and what he said about the S.O.R.E. restraints.

Duncan and Isadora spent the time before dinner in a council of war. The Parrs ate at a table by themselves, but Duncan brushed by Violet as he went to put away his tray, and he silently transferred the Rydinger's plans to her memory.

The Rydinger Triplets followed the Parrs to the Orphan Shack but stayed outside, out of range of the audio pickups in their restraints.

Isadora chanted:

"Transfer, rings, to us from Parrs.  
We want to make their troubles ours."

The binding rings instantly shifted over to Duncan and Isadora's ankles. The ring sensors didn't pick up on the teleportation move and no alarms were triggered. The Rydingers began to walk away from the Orphan's Shack and toward the running field.

The moment the rings were off, Violet told her siblings the plan.

"Duncan and Isadora are walking to the field in our place. Isadora is carrying a doll about Jack-Jack's size," said Violet.

"Gimilar?" said Jack-Jack, meaning "Will that really fool Syndrome?"

"It only has to fool him for a few seconds from a distance in this poor light. We'll get to the field by a back way, ambush him, and get the remote control away from him before he can use it," said Violet.

"All right," said Dash. "Let's go!"

They headed out the door of the Orphan's Shack, only to run into Vice-Principal Nero.

"Aha, I was looking for you!" Nero said. "I heard a report that you were sleeping in class today. I came to prove it and give you a punishment."

"Punish us later," said Dash. "We've got to get somewhere!"

"I know you do, but that can wait," came the voice of Syndrome. "I'm here to see you fail the pop-quiz your teachers have arranged." He stood beside Nero.

"When you fail, Coach Genghis here has kindly volunteered to supervise punishment laps for you during the day tomorrow," said Vice-Principal Nero.

The Incredibles remembered Count Buddy's desire to get them running in the hot noonday sun. They decided to play along for now. If they used their powers to get the remote control now, it would blow their cover with the Vice-Principal. Since Count Buddy was here the Rydingers were safe for the moment.

"It's nice that we caught you before you left," said Syndrome. "But I had men stationed at the track to send you back here in case you passed us in the dark. I didn't want you to miss this."

Now the Parrs were anxious for their friends. Could Duncan and Isadora fool Syndrome's guards? They had to pass this test quickly!

Coach Genghis blew his whistle and Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass stepped forward. They began firing questions at the two elder Parrs.

"What was the length of the cucumber we measured yesterday?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"Thirty-seven and a half centimeters," said Dash quickly, using the photographic memories transferred from Duncan.

"What was the color of the farm tractor the boy saw in my sixteenth story yesterday?" asked Mr. Remora.

"Red," answered Violet promptly.

"I think you should ask them some from today," said Count Buddy with a smirk.

"What was the thickness of the matchstick?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"Two millimeters," said Dash. He happened to remember it even though Duncan had not given him photographic memories today.

"What was the fruit that was on special in my grocery store story I told when you were 'resting your eyes'?" Remora asked Violet.

Violet hesitated for an instant because she really had been asleep. But there was only one kind of fruit Mr. Remora cared about...

"Bananas!" she guessed.

"Vice-Principal Nero, these children haven't been sleeping in class. They've gotten every question correct," said Mrs. Bass.

"Reluctantly, I have to agree," said Mr. Remora.

"No extra punishment this time, but I'll catch you sooner or later," said Nero. "You're guilty, guilty, guilty!" He and the two teachers walked away.

Syndrome's cell phone rang. "Hello," he said. "You've got the kids? No you don't, they're right here in front of me. Could Jack-Jack be morphed into a baby-doll? Probably he could, but why would he? He's right here, I tell you. They're impostors! Take them into the plane and..."

Too late, he realized that an invisible hand had removed his remote control from his belt. Violet switched it off and tossed it to Jack-Jack, who burst into flame and incinerated it. (Jack-Jack's powers were getting stronger and he needed only the reminder of the nearby flame-powered jet boots to set himself off this time.)

Dash delivered a flying kick to Syndrome's face. "Here's for trying to make me hate running!"

Suddenly there was the roar of a jet engine hovering overhead. Inside the open cargo bay door, the Parrs could see Duncan and Isadora being held hostage by Count Buddy's guards.

"Let me escape or your friends die," said Syndrome. He fired up the rocket boots and shot up to the plane.

The Incredibles hesitated, not wanting Duncan and Isadora to be hurt. There was no time to decide what to do. Syndrome reached the plane and it flew away.

Dash felt a piece of paper suddenly appear in his hand. It read,

"If you want to rescue me,  
Find out about the V.F.D."

"It's from Isadora," Dash said. "She must have used a cantrip to send me this note."

"What could she mean by 'The V.F.D'?" asked Violet.

The three were extremely downcast. This time Syndrome had won, taking from them the only real friends they had found in this whole sad series of events.

"I guess you failed that pop-quiz, didn't you, cakesniffers?" came the rude voice of Kari Melita Spatts. "You should never have messed up my babysitting job."

"You probably couldn't have handled Jack-Jack anyway," said Dash.

"Hah! I'm an expert on babies," said Kari over-confidently. "I can take anything that little brat can dish out."

"Gooh guuh?" said Jack-Jack, meaning "Wanna bet?" He burst into flames.

"Yaah, the baby's exploding!" yelled Kari. She ran away as fast as she could.

"I think we need to be relocated again," said Violet.

"I hope we are," said Dash. "We have to rescue Duncan and Isadora."


	10. Book the 6th, The Eliminated Elevator

Mr. Rick Poe drove them away from Prudence Prep, grumbling as usual. "I had to erase Ms. Spats' memories of Jack-Jack since he terrified her so much. I'm running out of good homes for you three."

"If those were the good homes..." Dash muttered. The only halfway good homes the Parrs had found since their house burned down and their parents disappeared were with Monty (Frozone) Best and Josephine (E.) Mode, and those they had found on their own. Poe had delivered them to a sweat-shop lumber mill and to a miserable boarding school. But worst of all was the first place he found, with the sinister Count Buddy, also known as Syndrome, who wanted to destroy them for revenge on their father, Mr. Incredible.

"Mr. Poe, can you tell us anything about what V.F.D. means?" Violet asked.

"No, I can't do that," he said, shaking his head.

"Glooph?" asked Jack-Jack, which meant "Can't, or won't?"

"I'm not sure what that question meant, but no comment," said Poe.

"We have to find out!" said Dash. "Our friends are in danger and it's our only clue about how to rescue them!"

"Don't worry about your friends," said Poe. "I've been appointed the Superhero Orphans Assistant Protector. I'll clean up this case right away. As soon as I drop you off, I'm going to follow up a rumor that they've been taken to the Himalayas."

"Don't you think you should have agents around here watching for that big manta-shaped jet of Syndrome's, and watching the roads out of the city?" asked Violet.

"We're doing that, too. But I'm going to follow up this hot Himalaya lead in person," said Poe.

The children sighed. They didn't have a lot of confidence in the protection of the Super Relocation Agency. So far, each time Syndrome had attacked they had been on their own.

"Where are we going this time?" Dash asked.

"This is a really nice home with a wealthy man and his wife who have suddenly decided it's 'in' to adopt orphans. It's about time he did something nice for your family. If it weren't for your father he wouldn't be a rich man today. He wouldn't be alive, for that matter."

"Why is that?" Violet asked curiously.

"Because he's Jerome Sansweet, the first man in America to sue a superhero for saving his life," said Poe.

"Oh," said Violet. "I've heard about him. He sued Dad for stopping his suicide attempt. That set off a wave of lawsuits that caused all the supers to have to go into hiding."

"Goollp," said Jack-Jack, meaning "I don't have a good feeling about this."

"Just don't tell him you're related to Mr. Incredible and everything will be fine," Poe said. "Here we are, 667 Blackout Boulevard."

The name was an apt description because there were thick trees on both sides of the street shutting out almost all the light.

"Sansweet lives on the top floor. Just take the elevator up and introduce yourselves. I've got to get working on the Rydinger case," said Poe.

The doorman, a man wearing a uniform with very long sleeves and with a cap pulled down over his eyes, told them, "The elevator's out, so you'll have to climb the stairs."

"How long has it been out of order?" Violet asked.

"Not out of order, 'out', as in 'out of fashion'. Mrs. Sansweet ordered it removed two days ago."

The children began to walk up the long, long stairway. As soon as they were out of sight of the doorman, Violet formed a rolling-ball force-field so Dash could run them up the stairs. They passed floor after floor so quickly that they missed bits of sound from the rooms they might otherwise have heard. Jack-Jack's ears perked up when he heard a snatch of Mozart, but it was gone too fast to have any major effect on him.

The knocked on the door of the penthouse suite. A short, weedy man wearing a neck brace opened the door. "Well hello, you must be the orphans we were expecting."

"They weren't due here today, were they?" drawled a woman's voice. A tall lady smoking a cigarette on a long holder came to the door and stood by her husband. Her blue pinstripe suit did not suit her chocolate-brown skin.

"Oh yes, the agency told me today, dearest," said Jerome. "Children, I'd like you to meet my new wife, Esmé. Esmé, these are the Parr children: Violet, Dashiell, and Jack."

"Jack-Jack," said the baby.

"Well, well, let them in. I'll be the envy of all my friends to be able to be showin' off three real, live, orphans." said Esmé.

The children didn't like being called orphans, and they weren't sure their parents were dead, but they got the feeling that if they told her so they would no longer be 'in' and they'd be put out on the street.

The children entered the enormous penthouse apartment, with so many rooms they found themselves lost immediately.

"Mr. Sansweet, you're a famous man. Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Violet said.

"Not at all, go ahead," said Jerome.

"Why did you sue that superhero, Mr. Incredible, for saving your life?" asked Violet. She wanted to know what sort of man they were dealing with.

"I lost a lot of money in the stock market that day," said Jerome. "I was sure there would be a huge argument with my business partners, and I hate to argue. So I jumped, but Mr. Incredible leaped at me and pushed me through a window. He injured my neck, and that's when I realized I could make back all the money I lost and more by suing him. It worked, and I became very successful again."

"Goph!" said Jack-Jack, which meant, "That wasn't very nice."

"Supers were out of control, anyway," said Jerome. "It was for the greater good."

"'Specially since you got me, honey," said Esmé Sansweet. "I'm the greatest good you're ever going to get." She turned and walked into the other room.

"She's the best, isn't she?" said Jerome, looking after her admiringly.

Dash whistled in agreement.

"You must be thirsty after your long climb, children," said Jerome. "May I offer you a parsley soda or an aqueous martini? They're both very fashionable drinks, my wife tells me." He led them toward one of the five kitchens.

Violet stared after Esmé. There was something familiar about her, but she couldn't quite place her. Maybe it would come to her later...


	11. Entr'acte

Now it's time for a brief entr'acte, a French word which here means "an interlude between two acts of a drama," or in this case "a short chapter in which the author covers a little back-story before plunging ahead."

Quigley Rydinger was hiding out in Monty Best's apartment. After the terrible fire which had destroyed his own home, and as far as he knew killed his father and siblings, Quigley was no longer sure who to trust. The government was no friend of the supers.

There was a room in which reptiles had been kept, but someone had cleared it out before he got there. There was also a room with acoustic tiles on the wall and shelves of rap CD's that appeared to be undisturbed. But the most interesting room was the library. Quigley had spent several days here researching, trying to learn what he could about the mysterious organization that went by the initials V.F.D.

Quigley was so involved in the book that he didn't hear the man coming through the doorway. The man stopped when he saw Quigley, somersaulted into the room, did a standing high jump onto the bookshelves, and demonstrated uncanny climbing skills by hanging from the ceiling above Quigley's head.

"What are you doing here, kid?" demanded the man. "Who are you?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Quigley said. "My name's Quigley Rydinger, and I'll tell you more if you tell me."

"My name's The Jock," said the man. He back-flipped from the ceiling and landed on his feet in front of Quigley.

"Jacques what?" asked Quigley.

"The Jock. Supers don't go around blabbing their secret identities, kid. You shouldn't either. I knew your mother, The Vectress, and I bet you have super-powers too."

"I guess you could call me Mapmaker," said Quigley. He tore a blank piece of paper out of his notebook on the desk, moved his index finger back and forth across it, and held it up to Jock. "I do mind-maps, and this is a map of the underground passage from my house I followed to get here."

"That's not much good in a fight," said Jock. "Maybe I could train you to box and wrestle. My power is that I'm a natural at any athletic skill."

"I'll pass on that, thanks," said Quigley.

"What was that you said about a secret passage?" Jock asked, looking a little put out at being turned down.

"My house burned down a few days ago. I was trapped in a room with no exit, and then suddenly the wall opened up and there was a sliding pole like firemen use. I slid down it into a hidden cave with spare costumes and equipment that looked like my mother's," Quigley said.

"The Vector-Cave. A lot of us had caves in the old days," said Jock.

"There were many interconnecting passages down there. I mapped them out and eventually found my way to the ladder that led into this apartment," said Quigley.

"Since you found out so much on your own, I think you'd make a good recruit for the V.F.D.," said Jock.

"What is the V.F.D.?" asked Quigley.

"Volunteer Freedom Defenders, an underground supers organization," said Jock. "Our motto is 'World - be quiet, you hear?'"

"Why should I join an illegal supers group?" asked Quigley.

"You could help a friend of yours from school, for one thing," said Jock. "Her name's Violet Parr."

Quigley's heart jumped. He'd seen Violet around school; she was shy and hid her face behind her long hair. He'd wanted to ask her out for a long time but hadn't worked up the nerve.

"Why does she need help?" asked Quigley.

"A supervillain named Syndrome is after her and her brothers," said Jock. "He's killed a lot of other supers, tricking them into fighting his killer robot. He tried to get my siblings and I, too, but we knew our powers were too weak to fight something like that so we just went deeper into hiding."

"Violet's a super, too?" asked Quigley in surprise.

"A good one. She and her brothers have fought Syndrome to a standstill more than once, but he's still after them. I'm on their trail to give them a hand. You could help too, but you need V.F.D. fight training."

"I do have an offensive power but I'm never supposed to use it," said Quigley.

"Times are hard and you have to use whatever you've got. Ok, I'll come at you and you try to stop me!" said Jock.

Jock charged at him. Quigley fired an energy beam from his finger like the one that made the map, but much more intense. It sliced toward Jock, who cartwheeled away from it. When Jock reached the far wall, the beam cut into the shelves above him and dumped a load of books onto his head.

"Pretty good, kid. I think you nicked me with that beam," said Jock, shaking his head groggily. He looked down at his costume and saw it was slashed across the chest, but his skin was unbroken underneath.

"It doesn't cut living flesh," said Quigley.

"It'll do," said Jock. "Welcome to the V.F.D.!"


	12. Escarpment

"There's something strange about this building," Violet said. "Did you notice there's a second elevator door that's only on this floor?"

It was the day after their arrival at 667 Blackout Boulevard and the children were adapting to the new 'in' lifestyle. Esmé had bought them new pinstriped clothes that were all much too large, especially Jack-Jack's. They had tried the parsley soda (which tasted awful) and they had gone out to dinner at a posh restaurant called "Dock Ock's" that served only fresh octopus (which was disgusting). Jerome told them he didn't care for octopus, but Esmé said it was 'in' and he never liked to argue.

Today Jerome was at work and Esmé had gone out to meet with an auctioneer named Gunther who was setting up an auction of incredibly 'in' things, so the children had a chance to explore on their own.

They went to the door of the extra elevator and pushed the button. The door opened into a black, empty shaft. They could faintly hear the sound of voices calling below.

"Gescend," said Jack-Jack, which meant "I think we ought to see what's down there."

"So do I, Jack-Jack," said Violet, "But how can we get down there?"

"I know," said Dash, "We could get a whole lot of neckties from the apartment, tie them together into a long rope, and climb down."

"Dash, that would be ridiculously dangerous," said Violet. "Only characters in a children's book could get away with something like that. We're superheros, not mountain climbers."

"You have a better idea?" asked Dash resentfully.

Violet looked up the shaft. It seemed to continue up for another floor, even though this was supposed to be the penthouse.

"There may be something up there," she suggested. "I'll make a sloping force field and you can run up and check."

Dash did this, and he called down, "There's an abandoned meeting room up here, and there's a huge rope-ladder rolled up by the shaft. I'll start it unrolling."

Violet dropped the force-field and let the rope-ladder come down. Dash climbed back down. The three of them began the long descent on the rope-ladder, with Violet carrying Jack-Jack in one arm. It was hard work even with a ladder and all three were glad they hadn't tried climbing a rope made of neckties.

Midway down the shaft, Jack-Jack put his ear to the wall and listened. Classical music was playing in the room next to the elevator. Jack-Jack looked dreamy and he began to float upward from Violet's arm.

"Jack-Jack, is that a new power?" asked Violet.

The question broke his concentration and he plopped back into her arms."

"Floatie," Jack-Jack said.

"Maybe listening to music would bring out your powers," Dash said.

"Kari once told me, when she was still my friend, that she plays Mozart for the babies she sits so it will make them smarter," said Violet. "We can try it later. Right now we need to keep climbing."

They finally made it down the shaft, and found an enormous cage at the bottom in the center of the room. Inside were Duncan and Isadora Rydinger! The Incredibles rushed forward and hugged them through the bars.

"Oh, it's so good to see you! I was afraid Count Buddy was going to kill you!" said Violet.

"He's been keeping us prisoners," said Isadora.

"I think he wants to use us as hostages or as bait for a trap for you. Be careful," said Duncan.

The Incredibles tried everything they could to free their friends, but nothing they could do was able to bend or break the bars of the cage. Even Jack-Jack's metallic and monster forms weren't enough.

"What about your flaming form?" suggested Violet. "We could soften the bars if we heated them enough."

Jack-Jack tried, but his abilities were still too dependent on having something nearby to copy from. He produced only feeble orange flames that quickly died down.

"We need to go back up and get a cigarette lighter from Esmé's room," Violet said.

The Parrs began the long climb up the rope ladder.

"Wait," called Duncan. "I should transfer to you some memories about the V.F.D."

"No time now," said Dash. "You can do it when we come back."

Three-quarter of the way up, one side of the ladder suddenly went limp and the whole thing began to lurch and sway.

"Goodbye, Incredibles," said a voice from above them.

The children realized it was the voice of Esmé Sansweet, just as she cut through the other side of the ladder.

Then they were falling...


	13. Escape

Dash, as always, was the quickest to react. He raced down the ladder much faster than it could fall, until he had several yards of slack rope-ladder between himself and his siblings.

Every rung of the rope-ladder was joined onto the main ropes by two small metal bolts. Dash kicked one of the bolts into the wall at super-speed; the wall material was soft enough to hold it in place. With the force of the kick he propelled himself to the other side, grabbing more of the falling ladder as he went. He kicked a bolt in there also, and kept going. In less than half a second he had built a safety net of criss-crossing ladder ropes below his siblings.

By this time, Violet was ready for action. She put a force-field ball around herself and Jack-Jack; it was large enough to brace against the sides and stop their fall.

Esmé looked down into the shaft. "Syndrome was sayin' that wouldn't be enough to kill you. Guess he was right about that."

"Why do you want to kill us?" Dash called. "What have we ever done to you?"

"What have you ever done to me?" Esmé gave a bitter laugh. "I want to take your lives the way Monty was taken from me. He left me a voicemail before he left, said he was goin' on a Frozone mission with you. You led him to his death!"

"But you've working with Syndrome, the man who actually killed him!" said Violet.

"I know it," said Esmé. "But one thing at a time. I'm helpin' Syndrome get rid of you, and then I'll find a way to deal with him."

"Please don't do this!" Violet called.

"Tell me you ain't at all to blame for my husband's death and I'll think about it," said Esmé.

"We..." said Dash, then stopped, remembering the misspelled warning note they had given to Monty.

"I thought so. Now I'll just put the finishin' touch on this little deathtrap Syndrome set up with the Rydingers as bait."

Esmé pressed a remote-control button and a panel at the very top of the shaft slid open, revealing an atomic cannon of the same type that had pierced Violet's force-field at Lackluster Lake. The cannon began firing sharp bursts of energy.

Violet cried out as it struck and weakened her force-field, "I can't hold out long against this!"

"Like I said, goodbye Incredibles," said Esmé. "I'd enjoy stayin' to watch but I have an auction to see to, with a Buddy who calls himself Gunther." She turned and walked away.

Violet's force-field popped from the next shot. She and Jack-Jack landed on the safety net next to Dash. They huddled to the side under a small force field as the cannon continued to fire randomly. A cry from below made them realize how truly diabolical this trap was. If they stayed out of the way or broke through the walls to escape, their friends below would be killed!

Then Violet heard another sound that gave her reason to hope: music. There was still classical music playing in the apartment next to the elevator shaft.

"Dash, Jack-Jack! We could be saved by elevator music!" Violet said.

"Huh?" said Dash.

"Guh?" said Jack-Jack.

Violet created an angled forcefield which deflected the next shot of the atomic cannon into the wall at the spot where the music was coming from. It opened a large crack in the wall and the music came pouring through.

Jack-Jack perked up, energized. "Floatie!" he said again. He rose up like a rocket, kicking back and forth from the sides to dodge the cannon fire. When he got to the top of the shaft he touched the base of the cannon to absorb its power and then destroyed it with a blast of its own energy. Then he came floating back down to them.

"Guh GA wah!" he exclaimed, meaning "Pretty awesome, if I do say so myself."

"Yes it was," said Violet, hugging him.

The Incredibles climbed down the rest of the rope ladder (which was attached to their improvised safety net) hoping to find the Rydingers still all right. Alas, someone had already taken them away, leaving only a CD player repeating anguished cries every so often.

They also found an underground passage leading somewhere unknown.

"Come on," said Dash. "Maybe we can catch up with them."

They set off into the twisty maze of passages looking for Duncan and Isadora.


	14. Excitement

The tunnel was dark, twisty, and had a low ceiling. Violet was able to create a little light by making a small force-field bubble that she held in one hand, but the dim purple glow didn't pierce the darkness very far. There is a saying that it is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. Since the Parrs didn't have a candle, Violet's one small force field was better than nothing.

They could tell they were moving under the streets of the city by the traffic noises overhead. The sounds grew quieter as the tunnel continued into the suburbs. Finally, they came to what seemed to be a dead end.

"What do we do now?" asked Dash. "Did we miss a turn?"

Jack-Jack, still in a "floatie" mood, levitated up to the top of the tunnel.

"Doa!" he called, which meant "Hey, there's a trapdoor up here."

They pushed at the trapdoor, but it was locked. No doubt Count Buddy had locked it behind him when he took the Rydingers out.

Ashes sifted down on them as they pushed. When they touched Jack-Jack, it reminded him of his fire-morph.

"Gngwhey!" he yelled, and his two siblings backed up down the corridor.

Jack-Jack morphed into a human fireball and levitated himself against the trapdoor. In a moment he had burned through. He lifted out - and was so shocked at what he saw that his fire and levitation both went off at once. Violet caught him in a force-field as he dropped.

The Incredibles emerged at the site of their old home, burned to ashes. It was a shock, but they didn't have time to think about it.

"Esme said she was helping a Buddy who calls himself Gunther, Count Buddy of course, with an auction," said Violet. "Yesterday she told us about the big 'In' Auction at Vulnerable Hall. We've got to get there and find out what he did with Duncan and Isadora."

"Shall we do the usual hamster-ball formation?" asked Dash.

Violet nodded. She picked up Jack-Jack and cast a force-field ball around herself and Dash. Dash ran inside it, whisking them back into the city to Vulnerable Hall. They nearly crashed through the fine door with a crystal doorknob which had won the coveted Door Prize, but Dash stopped in time. The Rydingers were still hostages and the Incredibles didn't want to attract attention until they knew exactly where they were.

The ornate room was full of the cream of society, a word which here has nothing to do with cows, but instead means "those who consider themselves to be at the very top of things." On one side of the room, under a huge banner that read "InAuction", stood Count Buddy at a microphone, disguised with a monocle in one eye. He was announcing the items for sale in a phony é stood beside him.

"Lot #49," called Buddy (or Gunther, since that was the name he was using at the moment). "Is giant metal red herring statue, please. Herring in, red in, big metal statues in, so big metal red herring statue very in, please."

Dash found an auction catalog that someone had carelessly dropped to the floor.

"Look at what's coming next!" he said. "Lot #50 is V.F.D." He pointed to the side of the room where a large wooden box stamped V.F.D. was sitting.

"Duncan and Isadora must be in there," said Violet. "Syndrome must be planning to sell the box to an agent who will smuggle it out of town,"

"Ah, there you are, children," called the familiar voice of Jerome Sansweet. "Esmé told me you were having too much fun entertaining yourselves at home to come to the auction, but I'm glad you changed your mind."

"The 'entertainment' got a little too exciting, so we came here," said Violet dryly. "Jerome, would you do us a favor and bid on item #50 for us?"

"The V.F.D. mystery item? Certainly I will. They won't tell us what's in there, but whatever it is, it's 'in'."

"Do you really think they'll let him buy it?" said Dash to Violet. "They'll just keep bidding higher."

"I know, but if the auction takes longer it gives us more time to sneak up and break the Rydingers out," Violet said.

Dash went first, zipping behind the box too fast for anyone to see. Violet found a private alcove to take off the clothes over her costume, then moved invisibly to the box. She carried Jack-Jack under the front of her costume so he was also invisible.

Meanwhile, the Rydingers, who were actually concealed inside the red herring statue, were desperately trying to send the Incredibles a message, but so far they had not been in range.

"Doily, stick to Dash's shirt, Warn him so he won't get hurt," Isadora chanted softly.

This time, the spell was a success. The doily with the message Isadora had written on it, instantly transferred to the front of Dash's costume. Unfortunately, the Parrs were too intent on the auction to notice.

The auction on the red herring finished and men were carrying it away to the buyer.

"Next is bidding on number 50, please," said Gunther. "Contents so in, we will not be telling you what they are, please."

"One hundred dollars!" Jerome bid.

"Two hundred!" bid someone on the other side of the room.

Dash started trying to open the box from the back. Suddenly an alarm went off! Syndrome pivoted and fired a zero-point beam, paralyzing Dash and Violet behind the box.

"Hee hoo!" cried Syndrome in his normal voice. "I got you Incredibles this time! I set up that box of Very Fancy Doilies as a red herring to throw you off track."

"Esmé, what's going on?" called Jerome. "Is our auctioneer some sort of maniac?"

"Yes, Jerome," said Esmé in a cold voice, "And I'm workin' with him to trap the Incredibles. You've served your purpose and I won't be needin' you anymore."

"Now to finish them off at last!" said Count Buddy, aiming his other gauntlet to fire an explosive blast at the trapped heroes.

What Syndrome and Esmé didn't realize was that Jack-Jack had levitated up into the "InAuction" banner above them and was in the process of setting it on fire. They didn't realize it, that is, until the flaming banner dropped onto their heads.

"Gaboom!" said Jack-Jack.

Syndrome, flailing wildly, broke off the zero-point beam. Dash immediately pulled Violet out of the way, getting clear just before Syndrome fired his blast at the box, smashing it and sending doilies flying everywhere.

Unfortunately, the Very Fancy Doilies were also Very Flammable Doilies. They ignited as they passed near the flaming banner. Flaming doilies shot out into the crowd, which was also slipping on more doilies underfoot.

"This is bad," said Violet to Dash, "It's turning into a panic. People will be crushed if we don't do something."

"If we stop to help them, Count Buddy and Esmé will get away!" protested Dash.

"You know what Dad always said. Protect the innocents first," said Violet.

Violet scooped doilies out of the air with force fields while Dash snatched them up at super-speed and blew them out with the wind of the motion. Jack-Jack incinerated burning doilies to ash before they could land on anyone. The crowd was saved, but as Dash had predicted Buddy andEsmé took the opportunity to get away.

"There's a doily stuck to the front of your costume, Dash," said Violet after things had calmed down.

Dash pulled it off and saw it had writing on it.

"Not V.F.D., we're in GHOTI," he read. It was another magical couplet communication from Isadora.

"Ghoti?" said Dash. "What does that mean?"

"I heard that somewhere," Violet said. "GH as in 'enouGH', O as in 'wOmen', TI as in 'emoTIon'. It means 'FISH'."

"Fish!" said Dash, "The red herring! That's where they are!"

They ran out to the parking lot, but the truck that had taken the red herring sculpture was long gone.

Jerome Sansweet came out of Vulnerable Hall looking sad and discouraged. He nodded to the children.

"We should all go overseas and forget this ever happened," Jerome said. "If Esmé wants to leave me, I won't argue with her. But I want nothing more to do with superheros and villains in my life."

"Sorry, Jerome," said Dash. "We've got to stay and help our friends."

"Then I'm afraid that's the end of the adoption," said Jerome, and he walked away looking even more sad.

"Isadora must have sent that doily message even before I tried to open the box," said Dash. "I blew it!"

"We'll get them free next time, for sure," said Violet.

"Gope," said Jack-Jack, meaning, "If we get another chance."


	15. Book the 7th, The Villain Village

**Prologue**

Neither of them knew the color of the sky. Their gaze was level, looking for land, like the characters in Stephen Crane's short story "The Open Boat" (from which I lifted that first sentence). Both of them knew the color of the sea.

The man and woman had been lost at sea for days, ever since they fought free of the captors who were making them watch the self-destruction of a volcanic island. By the time they reached that island it had sunk beneath the waves. Now they were seeking land, or a ship.

They had some fresh water, for it had rained yesterday and the woman had managed to catch several bucket-fulls, but no food. They had an "open boat" of a sort, or rather the man did. The woman formed the boat.

* * *

"You've really done it this time," said Rick Poe sadly. "You've upset important people in high society with that auction fiasco."

The three Parrs were seated in Poe's downtown office, in front of a desk with the sign "Superhero Orphans Assistant Protector."

"We were just trying to help our kidnapped friends," said Violet.

"Maybe so, but it's undone most of the good will you three had from saving the city from the Omnidroid," said Poe. "I'm down to very few options for you."

Poe pulled three pamphlets from a drawer. "These three villages are available. You'll find many people there sympathetic to your experiences. You know the old saying: it takes a village to raise a child."

"Huh! A lot of kids who grow up in cities turn out all right, too," said Dash.

"It's just an truism. It's not meant to be 100-percent true," said Poe.

"Gllop!" said Jack-Jack.

Violet looked over the pamphlets.

"One of these villages is called V.F.D.!" she said. "May we go there?"

"Oh yes, you were asking me about V.F.D. before. There's no guarantee this will lead to your friends, but of course you can go there if that's what you want."

"We do," said Dash.

"Yop Yop," agreed Jack-Jack.

"I have to head out to the Amazon rain forest to follow up a lead on the missing Rydingers, but I'll make arrangements for a bus to take you there."

The bus was hot and dusty and they were the only ones on it. The only thing to look at in the bus was a copy of the "Daily Punctuation" that someone left behind. The headline was about the notorious Count Brody who had kidnapped the Rodlinger twins, Douglas and Isabel.

"Have you ever noticed how people assume the newspaper is accurate, but when the story is about something they know they always find mistakes?" said Violet. "We know it was actually Count Buddy who kidnapped the Rydinger triplets, Duncan and Isadora. Now everyone will be looking for the wrong people."

"V.F.D.!" the driver called, "Next stop V.F.D!"

The bus stopped on a dusty road in the middle of nowhere.

"The town's on the horizon thataway," said the driver. "You'll have to walk from here. This is as close as I'm gonna get."

"Why?" asked Dash, but the driver had already jumped back into the bus and was tearing away as fast as he could.

They decided to run in hamster-ball formation until they got within view of the city, which saved at least two hours. They stopped when they came to a sign with the words "V.F.D. Limits." The rest of the words were completely covered by crows. They felt a slight tingling sensation as they passed this sign, and the crows reacted by cawing loudly and flying off.

If they could have gone back and read the rest of the sign now, they would have seen: "V.F.D. Limits - Only inmates and law enforcement officers beyond this point."

The town was covered with crows as far as they could see - crows on the buildings, crows in the streets, everything was covered in a layer of black, rustling feathers.

With great trepidation, which here means "fear of the crows, and fear of this strange village," the Parrs approached Town Hall.

Inside was a large crowd of middle-aged and elderly people, apparently gathered for a town meeting. All talking ceased when the children entered the building.

Two men stood at the front of the room. One had metallic prosthetic hands that looked like miniature steam-shovel scoops. He was wearing a miner's helmet pulled nearly over his eyes and on top of that a decorative artificial crow made of cloth. The other was also wearing a crow-decorated helmet, in his case a Germanic warrior's helmet.

"Ve have been expecting you children," said the second man with a slight German accent. "Come forward to the platform. I am Baron von Rücksichtslos , and this is my associate Mr. Unger Myna. Ve are the Village Elders here."

"I recognize that helmet from old news clips on TV," Violet whispered to Dash. "Baron von Ruthless, a famous supervillian! I don't know the other, but he looks sinister, too."

"What are they doing running a village?" Dash whispered back.

"Remember how we always wondered what happened to the supervillians when the heroes were forced into hiding? I think we've made a big mistake. This is an internment camp for supervillians!" Violet said.


	16. Vexation

"Vell, don't keep us vaiting," said Baron von Ruthless. "Come forvard at vunce!"

Not knowing what else to do, the three children walked up to the front of the room and onto the podium. A roomful of eccentric-looking people stared at them.

"I introduce to you Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack Parr, three promising young super-delinquents," said Mr. Myna. "They got off to a bad start by saving the city from a giant robot."

The crowd booed and hissed.

"But it turns out that was just a publicity stunt," said Unger Myna. "Since then, they've been causing accidents in lumber mills, scaring students at private schools, and most recently plunging a posh social event into complete chaos."

The crowd cheered.

"But-" Violet started to protest, then thought better of it.

"Rule number 920: No vun but Elders and police officers may speak on the podium," said von Ruthless. "Ve are allowed to make our own laws here, and so to keep all the big egos under control ve have made them harsh. The penalty for breaking the rules is burning at the stake... but ve vill let you get by this time."

"It takes a village to raise a child," said Myna, "Since all of us are raising you, you will do chores for all of us. In the mornings you will do downtown chores, and in the afternoon the uptown chores. That way you won't disturb the crows that roost uptown in the morning and downtown in the afternoon."

"Crow are our mascots, a symbol of darkness and evil," said the Baron. "Rule number 347: No one may harm a crow. We call ourselves the Villainous Fowl Devotees."

There was a sudden knock on the door and a woman police officer barged in. She was wearing a motorcycle helmet that completely concealed her face.

"I'm Officer Luciana," said the woman. "I'm here to supervise the installation of a new statue for your town fountain, a gift from Uncle Sam for your good behavior."

The crowd snorted.

"Good behavior? You wouldn't be seeing good behavior if we could past the Super Barrier," sneered Myna.

"You'll like the statue, anyway. It's a giant crow," said Officer Luciana.

The crowd chuckled in appreciation.

"I have one more warnin' to give you," said Luciana. "There's an unauthorized superhero wanderin' around this area. He calls himself The Jock, but he's believed to be Count Brody in disguise."

"Count Brody, you say?" said von Ruthless. "I think I may have heard of him - he killed many supers with a cunning plan."

"Bah!" said Myna, "It was a plan unworthy of a supervillain. He threw money at the problem, hiring supers to fight his killer robot with the intent that they would die. On top of that, he sent his robot into the city so that he could defeat it and pretend to be a superhero!"

"And what would you be doin' differently?" asked Luciana.

"If I brought a machine to attack the city, I would do it boldly, like a villain should - no pretense. I would tunnel up from below and announce myself: 'I am the Underminer! I have been beneath you, but nothing is beneath me! I declare war on peace and happiness!'" said Myna.

"Be quiet!" said von Ruthless angrily. "Ve have heard you rehearse that monologue a hundred times already."

"Soon now, very..." the Underminer cut himself off and gave the police officer a nervous glance.

But apparently Luciana had not been paying attention. She walked to the door, and just as she was about to leave, announced "There's a famous detective comin' here tomorrow to look for Count Brody, so I expect your full cooperation. His name is Detective Dupin."

The crowd muttered.

"Dupin?" said von Ruthless, "I've heard that name somewhere. I think he works for Poe."

Luciana was out the door before he finished.

"You'll be staying with the town handyman," said Myna. "He'll be able to direct you to your chores tomorrow. Hector, come forward."

A tall, big-chested man with a very pale complexion stepped forward. He bowed to the Elders nervously.

"Hector, take the children home and get them to bed early so they'll have plenty of energy for their chores tomorrow," said the Baron.

Hector led the children out of the town hall. As soon as they were away from the Elders, Hector gave a sigh of relief and smiled. Then he began to speak in rapid French.

"Bonjour, mademoiselle et monsieurs. Je m'appelle 'ector," said Hector.

"I think I've seen you on TV before," said Dash. "You're Bomb Voyage!"

"Oui," said Hector.


	17. Villa

"Oui, mais je suis en retraite," said Bomb Voyage.

"Gabble goog!" said Jack-Jack, which meant "He says that he's retired."

The children weren't sure whether to believe him or not, but he did seem nicer than the other villains they had met so far. He led the way to a small villa at the edge of town under an enormous tree.

"Voulez-vous quelque choses à manger?" Hector asked.

He mimed eating, and they needed no translation for "Would you like something to eat?" They nodded vigorously.

"Jambon de Paris et Crepes Susette," he announced a short while later, serving them delicious boiled ham and sweet egg pancakes in a flaming orange sauce. It was by far the best food they had eaten in their adventures so far.

After dinner, Hector led them to the base of the tree. It was dusk, and hundreds of crows had come to roost in the branches.

"Un secret," Hector said. He showed them a small hole at the base of the tree. They crawled through it and found there was a passageway leading down through the roots, which led to a good-sized cave. Nearly filling the cave was an enormous digging machine. It had tank treads on the bottom and a huge drill in front.

"La machine de Underminer!" he announced.

"That's what the Underminer was talking about when he said he was going to attack the city soon?" Dash asked.

"Oui," said Hector.

"He said something about a Super Barrier, too. There's an invisible barrier that keeps supers here, but you could get out if you went underground?" asked Violet.

"Oui," said Hector.

"Do you know how to make it work?" asked Dash.

"Non," said Hector.

"We'll help you figure it out," suggested Violet. "We need to get away from here to help our friends Duncan and Isadora."

"Oui," said Hector. He grinned at the possibility of escape.

They returned to the house for more flashlights and research supplies. When they returned to the hole, Dash noticed a piece of paper on the ground. He dropped his flashlight in surprise when he recognized the handwriting on it.

"No longer GHOTI, In avian we," the message said.

"It's another note from Isadora," said Dash. "If she's close enough to send this, she's behind the Super Barrier. We have to find her and Duncan before we can escape."

"Gubby," said Jack-Jack, meaning "If she's here, so's Count Buddy."


	18. Violence

Hector and the children set out early the next morning to do the downtown chores. The Parrs also intended to use every opportunity to look for Duncan and Isadora.

The first stop was the mansion of Mrs. Morrow, who wanted all of her doorknobs polished. It wasn't easy to get to work so early after staying up so late the night before studying the Underminer's tunneling machine, the Deus Ex Machina.

Mrs. Morrow came out to inspect the work. She had a bluish complexion and spoke with a slight Russian accent.

"Za doorknobs are not shiny enoff," she complained. "I wahnt zem to glow, or I will make you glow instead. I was once za famous Lady Cherenkov and I still have my radioactive powers."

"Lady Cherenkov? I've never heard of you before," said Dash.

"I was famous, I tell you. Zey even made a cartoon villain based on me, Lady Lightning-Bug. Lucky for zem, za cartoon was never released. My spies in za industry told me it was very bad, and I would have had to kill zose who made it."

After they finished at Mrs. Morrow's house, they went down the street to Mr. Lesko's. His yard was full of corn stalks. He didn't speak to them, but merely pointed at a wheelbarrow and weeding tools before stomping back into his house.

"I recognize him," said Violet, "Especially with all this corn. He's the Corn King."

Mr. Lesko poked his head out of the window and snapped, "No jokes about how my name is corny, or my powers are corny, or anything like that."

"We weren't going to," said Dash, "No need to pop off like that."

Jack-Jack giggled. Mr. Lesko growled and shut the window.

It was a long, exhausting morning of one chore after another. Dash's speed and his sibling's powers helped to get through them all but it still wasn't easy. At noon they took a lunch break while the crows moved from roosting uptown to roosting downtown. One of the afternoon chores would be to polish the new metal fountain shaped like an enormous crow, and they weren't looking forward to it because the morning's roosting had no doubt left it very messy.

Just as they were finishing lunch, there was a hubbub in the street outside.

"Count Brody has been captured!" someone yelled.

The children ran out into the street and joined the mob headed to the town jail.

"I'm looking forward to this," said a man in the crowd. "We haven't had a good burning at the stake in a long time."

Officer Luciana was standing at the door of the jail. "No-one is allowed inside except for the Parr children. They can identify the scoundrel."

Luciana opened the door to the cell area and told them, "He's in the next to the last cell on the left."

The man the Incredibles found in the next to the last cell on the left was wearing a gray sweatsuit with a "J" on the front. He was well-built, muscular, mustached, and definitely not Count Buddy.

"I'm The Jock," said the man, "You've got to tell them I'm not Count Buddy. I knew your parents in the old days."

"Do you know about the real V.F.D?" asked Violet.

"Of course, but first I need to tell you something important. Quigley -", The Jock cut off abruptly as Officer Luciana marched up to them.

"Visitin' time's up," said Luciana.

She escorted the children down the hall and out of the building. There was something familiar about her voice and walk, the children é Sansweet! Recognition came too late. As soon as she had them outside the jail, her whole manner changed.

"These children just murdered Count Brody!" she shouted.

The crowd gasped.

"They spoiled our fun!" someone yelled.

"Yeah, they should be burned at the stake instead!" said another.

"She's lying, we didn't kill anyone!" Dash yelled.

"Hector, please go and tell the Elders we're being framed," Violet called out.

"Gabbobb!" Jack-Jack agreed.

Hector was very skittish about talking to the Elders.

"Je ne parle pas anglais," he said, which means "I don't speak English."

A man pushed through the crowd. He was wearing a turquoise blazer, silver pants, and green plastic shoes. His chest was bare except for a detective's badge on a gold chain. And unlike the man in the cell, he definitely was Count Buddy.

"It's not cool to contradict a police officer. I'm Detective Dupin, and I'll get to the bottom of this crime," said Syndrome, snapping his fingers.

"You're not Detective Dupin, you're Count Buddy!" Violet said.

"You see how confused suspects get when they try to lie?" said Syndrome. "It's just not cool. Keep an eye on them, all of you, while I check out the crime scene."

Under the eyes of several dozen supervillains there wasn't much the children could do to escape. There was the muffled sound of an energy blast from inside, and then Syndrome came out again.

"Yep, he's dead all right," said Count Buddy. "And there's clear evidence these kids did it: high-speed punch marks and force-field burns. But what really did him in is an energy blast from the baby."

The mob shouted angrily and several people fired energy beams from their hands or eyes that hit the Parrs and knocked them out.

When they regained consciousness they were in one of the other cells of the jail. Syndrome was smirking at them from the other side of the bars.

"These cells have held a good many supers over the years," Count Buddy said. "They prevent anyone inside from using their powers. So here's the deal I'll offer you. Decide among yourselves which two of you will get a quick death, being shot while trying to escape. The third one will get the slow, painful death of burning at the stake."

"You monster," said Violet, "We're not going to make a choice like that!"

"Tough decision, eh? I don't mean to be cruel... Actually, I do! Hee hah hah hoo! I'll be back this evening for your choice. In the meantime, enjoy your bread and water."

Syndrome walked away, still chuckling to himself.


	19. Voyage

"I don't think we've ever been in a more hopeless situation," said Violet.

"Come on, Vi. There's always something," said Dash.

"Not this time," Violet said.

"What about this pitcher of water?" asked Dash. "We could use that bench to pour water on the mortar between the bricks. We could sop up the water with this spongy bread and use it over and over until we dissolve the mortar."

"That'll never work in a million years," said Violet. "But we have nothing to lose by trying."

"Gruggle," agreed Jack-Jack.

They set up the bench and soon had a water cycle going. It was a tedious process, but they kept at it over and over.

"I wonder what Jock was trying to tell us about Quigley before he was interrupted?" Dash wondered.

"Maybe that Quigley was still alive," said Violet. "I hope so, even though I'm never going to see him again."

There is a common saying about speaking too soon, which means saying something before you have all the information. Speaking too soon means you will be proven wrong by events. (On the other hand, it's better than speaking too late, as I did when I tried to warn my beloved Beatrice about Count Buddy.)

In this case, Violet spoke too soon about never seeing Quigley again, for what Jock had wanted to tell them was that Quigley had accompanied him on the mission and was hiding behind the jail, waiting for an opportunity to break Jock free.

Quigley wasn't sure exactly where to cut through the wall with his energy-beam power. If he broke through the wrong place he might alert the guards. Then he noticed a damp spot where water was seeping through the mortar. It hadn't been there before. Maybe it was a signal from Jock! He fired a beam from his finger at the brink and cut it loose.

Violet noticed the brick giving way. "It's working!" she said. She pushed the brick out and looked through the hole. The first thing she saw was Quigley's eyes.

"Quigley!" she whispered. "You're alive? What are you doing here?"

"Breaking you out," Quigley whispered back.

In a short time he had cut loose enough bricks that all three Incredibles could squeeze out the hole.

"Where's Jock?" Quigley asked.

"Syndrome killed him. But your siblings Duncan and Isadora are here somewhere. We've got to find them and help them escape, too."

"Duncan and Isadora are here? Where?" Quigley asked.

"Here's our only clue," said Dash, handing him the slip of paper they had found the day before.

"No longer GHOTI, In avian we," read Quigley. "GHOTI?"

"It's a reference to another clue, when they were hidden in a giant fish sculpture," said Violet.

"I know how my sister thinks," said Quigley. "This must be another giant sculpture, this time of an 'avian', a bird."

"Growfount!" said Jack-Jack.

"That's it! The new crow fountain," said Dash.

The group moved cautiously to the fountain. It seemed the village had gathered for a town meeting to plan the evening's burning-at-the-stake party. No-one was on the streets.

All the crows had left the fountain to roost downtown, so Quigley had no trouble cutting open the back of the avian sculpture to release Duncan and Isadora. Quigley hugged his two siblings and all three hugged the Parrs.

"We're so glad to see you!" said Isadora. "Syndrome was going to pretend to discover us hiding in the fountain and have us burned at the stake along with one of you. He said that way the village would still have its three bonfires and they wouldn't be disappointed."

"Now we have to get out of here," said Violet. "It won't be easy because there's a barrier that prevents supers from leaving town. But there's a tunneling machine underground at Hector's house we can escape in."

The whole group started walking to Hector's villa. They were moving at a steady pace, but not running so they wouldn't attract attention.

"Duncan, I wanted to ask you another favor," said Violet. "Do you have any memories of classical music, like Mozart?"

"Well, once the folks took us to see 'The Magic Flute', and that's by Mozart," said Duncan.

"Would you give a memory of that to Jack-Jack? I think it'll help his powers."

"Oh," said Duncan. "Sure. Here you go, little guy."

Jack-Jack's eyes lit up as he absorbed the inspiration of the music.

They were almost to Hector's house when the whole flock of crows from the village took off to roost in the giant tree for the night. The villagers came out from their meeting to watch, and all eyes turned in their direction. There was a shout when the children were recognized.

"Run!" yelled Dash.

Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack formed their usual running ball, but there was no way to transport everyone else. The Incredibles kept pace with the Rydingers as the whole villain village came charging their way.

Hector must have slipped away from the meeting early, because he was waiting at the base of the tree. They dived into the hole just before the fastest-flying villains arrived and piled into the Deus Ex Machina.

Hector extracted two small objects from his pockets. Retired or not, he hadn't lost his skill in creating home-made bombs. He threw them and the explosion sealed the passage to the cave.

Suddenly Violet asked, "Where's Jack-Jack?"

"I thought he was with you," Dash said.

"We have to go back for him!" Violet said.

"Impossible!" said Bomb Voyage, pronouncing it as a French word.

Jack-Jack actually had been aboard the vessel, but under the influence of the new "floatie" Mozart music he had floated up and out, through solid earth and metal and up to the surface.

Lesko the Corn King spotted Jack-Jack first, and grabbed him.

"Here's one for the fire!" Lesko shouted, waving the torch he was carrying close to Jack-Jack.

Big mistake. Jack-Jack burst into flame-mode, scorching the Corn King's hands and forcing Lesko to drop him.

"I've got him," yelled Mrs. Morrow, trying to send a radiation burst at Jack-Jack. The baby teleported out of the way.

The villains chased Jack-Jack all over town. He soared, teleported, and slipped though walls, flaming as he went and sometimes using laser-vision to incapacitate his attackers. Soon the entire village was on fire.

"Halt!" cried Detective Dupin as he charged in front of Jack-Jack, "It's not cool to..."

But I never found out what Syndrome was trying to say was not cool to do, because suddenly Syndrome was not cool at all, but rather engulfed in a hot fireball from Jack-Jack.

After that, Jack-Jack had enough of the game. He flew back to Hector's tree and slipped back underground to the Dues Ex Machina where his anxious friends and relatives were still arguing.

Violet said, "Jack-Jack! Where were you? We were worried."

"Glotto," Jack-Jack said, meaning "Don't sweat the small stuff. Let's go."

Hector got the tunneling machine to start drilling its way through the earth.

"Safe at last," said Violet.

"Hector, do you know how to stop this thing?" Dash asked.

"Non," said Hector.

"Do you know where we're going?" asked Quigley.

"Non," said Hector.

The Deus Ex Machina plunged ahead into the dark earth.

Violet realized that once again she might have spoken too soon.


	20. Vilification

"At least you can steer it, right?" Violet asked Hector.

"Oui," Hector said.

"Duncan and Isadora, do you have any paper?" Quigley asked.

"I got paper and pencils for us by using cantrips when we were in the bird statue, so we could send messages," Isadora said. "Here you are."

Quigley moved his hand over the first sheet of paper, producing an instant map.

"Ok, so we started out from the village to the north-east," he said. "If we keep going straight, we'll be out into the hinterlands and then the mountains. We'll run out of fuel deep underground."

"If we get turned around to the south we can get to the coast. If we hit water, I can trap air in a force-field bubble like a diving ball and we can float to the surface," Violet suggested.

"Vi, you're really different than you used to be at school," Quigley said.

"Is different good?" she asked.

"Different is great. You have so much more confidence now," Quigley said.

"Thanks," Violet said. "You're doing pretty well at this hero business yourself, breaking us free and map-making and all."

Standing at a distance, Duncan sighed. He was glad that his brother was alive, but it was clear he had no chance with Violet now.

With the help of the map, they were able to get the Deus ex Machina headed in the right direction. The Parrs realized they were heading to the same beach where it all began, where Mr. Poe had met them with the news that their house had burned down and their parents were missing.

The machine ran all through the night, slowly drilling through dirt and rock. They started worrying again about running out of fuel underground. Hector had not been able to figure out how to get the tunneler to aim upward.

"At least the land slopes downward toward the sea," Quigley said. "If we keep running level we'll be getting closer and closer to the surface."

In the early morning, they popped out of the ground right at the edge of the beach. It looked like their momentum was going to carry them out into the water and they'd have to swim.

Then they saw the large man lying face-down on the sand a few yards in front of them.

Dash raced to the hatch, opened it and shouted, "Watch out! You're about to get run over!"

The yell woke the man from his stupor. He reached up a hand - and stopped the machine in its tracks. He staggered up from the sand and they finally saw his face.

"Dad!" shouted Dash.

In an instant he was down on the beach beside his father. When he got there he found his mother was there too, half covered in beach sand.

"Violet, Jack-Jack, come here! It's Dad and Mom!" Dash called.

The three Parr children embraced their parents, weeping with joy.

"Kids... got any water?" said their mother with a dry mouth.

Dash rushed back into the vessel and came back with water and food from the supplies in an instant.

After their parents had something to eat and drink, they spent a long time on the beach catching up with the stories of their adventures. The Rydingers and Hector joined them.

Bob Parr (Mr. Incredible) scowled for an instant when he recognized Bomb Voyage, but then he stuck out a hand. "You gave me a lot of trouble years ago, but anyone who saves my kids can't be all bad."

"Merci," said Hector, which meant "Thank you."

Helen Parr (Elastigirl) saw a newspaper blowing in the wind on the beach. She stretched out a rubbery arm and caught it. It was the front page of the "Daily Punctuation."

"IT TAKES A CHILD TO RAZE A VILLAGE" the headline read.

Helen read the story aloud: "The three Barr children, Veronica, Dutch, and Jerry-Jerry, have become rogue supers, sometimes known as 'supervillains'. After being abandoned by their parents, these three children have become increasingly delinquent. They gained some favorable notice when they 'saved the city' from a giant robot, though it now appears that it was a publicity stunt arranged by their first guardian, Count Brody Paine.

"After this, they had a falling out with Count Brody and went from one foster living situation to another. They caused accidents at Salubrious Stench Lumber Mill (according to the manager, who asked to remain anonymous). They disrupted Prudence Preparatory School (according to the Vice-Principal, Bernie Nero). Then they set a fire which ruined a society auction (according to their foster mothe Esmè Sansweet).

"This week they were taken in by a friendly community of retired people. When Count Brody came to visit, they murdered him with their 'super powers'. They were apprehended for this crime but then they broke out of jail, set fire to the village, and escaped in a stolen vehicle in the company of the notorious bank-robbing villain Bomb Voyage.

"The Super Relocation Agency says to be on the lookout for these children. They should be considered armed and extremely dangerous."

"Ridiculous!" said Helen Parr. "It's full of mistakes and distortions from beginning to end!"

"The trouble is, it's hard to fight because we don't know who to trust," said Bob Parr. "Syndrome must have connections with the paper, for them to come out with something this biased."

"I don't think we can trust Mr. Poe," said Violet. "He must have known what the V.F.D. village was when he sent us there."

"Oh, you just now stopped trusting him?" said Dash. "I stopped when he sent us to work in a sawmill."

"We need to lie low for a while, let things die down a bit, and plan how to make a comeback," said Helen.

"May we hide out with you?" asked Isadora. "We were targeted by Syndrome, too."

"Better not," said Helen. "It's harder to hide a large group. Quigley has joined the underground Volunteer Freedom Defenders; they can take you in and give you training. I'll tell you how to contact Jock's brother, The Lemon, and his sister KitFox."

"Et moi?" said Hector, meaning "And me?"

"It would be better if you didn't stay with us either, Hector" said Bob. "Look at the damage the paper did by linking our names. You could join the V.F.D. too, or start a new life on your own."

They sent off the Rydingers and Hector after tearful goodbyes among the kids. Quigley and Violet promised they would meet again, no matter what happened.

All five Parrs held a family meeting to plan for the future.

"What can we do?" asked Mr. Incredible. "I'm out of a job and a secret identity."

"Hemoglobin Hospital is near here," said Violet. "They have a new wing under construction. Maybe we could hide out there."

"That might work for a little while," said Bob. "But then we need to find jobs."

"There's an ad in the paper about a carnival in the hinterlands that needs freaks," said Helen. "I'd make a good contortionist. You could be a strongman or a hunchback."

"A hunchback?" asked Bob.

"Just hunch over like you used to do when you drove that little car," said Helen.

Bob hunched over and made a sad face. "I'm Hugo the hunchback."

Helen twisted herself into a knot. "And I'm Colette the contortionist."

Both of them laughed.

"Jack-Jack could always morph into something, like a monster-baby," said Dash. But how could Violet and I be freaks?"

"I know," Violet said. "You could wear my costume, the one I can make invisible. Then you climb on my back and put your head on my shoulder. We could be a two-headed freak."

The whole family laughed at the absurdity of the disguise.

"That's so crazy it just might work," said Helen. "You'd just need a scarf around your necks to hide how his head didn't join."

"Whatever we do now, we're together again and that's what counts," said Bob, hugging them all.

"We're the Incredibles!" said Violet.

"Ingrebbles!" said Jack-Jack.

* * *

Here I will end my story as the lives of the Parr children enter a new phase, still unfortunate but reunited with their parents. I hope that this writing will eventually be published and set the record straight about their heroism, and that one day supers will again be able to do their heroic work openly.

With all due respect,  
The Lemon


End file.
